Returning to school after summer break can bring a wave of emotions—for both kids and parents. In this article, you’ll learn how to recognize and respond to your child’s mixed emotions, create routines that offer structure, and teach healthy ways to manage anxiety. We’ll also explore effective coping techniques and preparation strategies that can ease the transition and set the tone for a successful school year.
Understanding Mixed Back-to-School Feelings
Most kids look forward to the end of the school year. No more getting up early, doing homework, studying for tests, or dealing with bullying at school. What’s not to like? Seems like everyone looks forward to summer!
However, as summer wears on, many kids start getting bored and miss the excitement of hanging out with friends on a daily basis. At the same time, many kids do not look forward to school starting again. The anticipation of getting up early, making new friends, and worrying about homework and grades can make it harder for kids as they get ready to return to school. But having mixed back-to-school feelings is normal.
By helping kids talk about their feelings, adults can make it easier for kids to process those emotions and get ready for school in the fall.
Recognizing Anxiety and Academic Pressure
Anxious children often have particular difficulty returning to school. They may become clingier, have trouble sleeping, and may voice fears about school. If they have heard about school shootings or have had experience with bullies, their anxiety is likely heightened. Meeting a new teacher can be difficult if you’re not sure if that teacher will be nice or mean.
Some kids worry about not knowing anyone in their class if their friends are all in different classes. Kids who struggle academically will worry about their school performance and the stress of keeping up with homework and doing well on tests, as well as their overall grades.
Parents Have Mixed Feelings, Too
Just as kids can have mixed back-to-school feelings, parents can, too. For some parents, the beginning of summer can be a relief from the stress of having to monitor children’s grades, email teachers, make sure homework gets done and is turned in, and transport kids to sporting practices and other after-school activities.
At the same time, keeping kids entertained all summer can be challenging. Many of today’s kids value screen time above all else, and it can be a battle getting them to engage in healthier activities, such as playing outside.
While some parents may look forward to having their kids return to school, others may dread the pressure that comes with helping kids be successful, particularly parents of kids who struggle academically or socially. This tug-of-war contributes to overall school-related stress for the entire family.
Helping Kids Cope with Emotions
One of the most helpful things parents can do is simply reflect and validate kids’ feelings. You don’t need to convince them that they’ll have a great year, and you don’t want to minimize their concerns. Start by asking open-ended questions:
- “How are you feeling about returning to school?”
- “Are you looking forward to returning to school, wishing you didn’t have to go back, or maybe some of both?”
- “Some kids feel nervous about going back to school. Is that something you are feeling, too?”
Let them know that it is normal to have mixed back-to-school feelings, and that it is okay to talk about them.
Focus on What They Can Control
Often, stress about a situation stems from not feeling in control. Helping kids focus on what they can control is a powerful coping strategy for school anxiety:
- Print out the school calendar
- Go shopping for new school clothes or supplies
- Practice reading
- Set up a designated homework area
- Create a weekly homework schedule together
Allowing your child input into the process makes it more likely they’ll follow through.
Use Pros and Cons to Spark Perspective
Making a list of pros and cons can help kids look at their feelings more objectively.
Sample Prompts:
- “What are some good things about going back to school?”
- “What are some not-so-good things?”
Pros might include:
- Being around friends
- Making new friends
- Getting out of the house
- Learning interesting things
- Lunch and recess fun
Cons might include:
- Getting used to a new teacher
- Making new friends
- Worrying about bullying
- Grades and homework pressure
- Being away from parents or siblings
This is an empowering tool for reframing back to school feelings and recognizing both the challenges and the positives.
Teaching Stress-Management Skills
Helping kids build emotional resilience starts with teaching them how to manage their stress in healthy, practical ways. From calming techniques to proactive planning, these strategies can empower children to face school-related anxiety with greater confidence and control.
Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques
Techniques such as mindfulness and deep breathing can help kids manage school-related stress and anxiety.
Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment using your senses. Parents can practice this with children at home by noticing textures, scents, and sounds.
Pair this with deep breathing exercises:
For guided meditation:
Letting Go of Worries
Use Guided Imagery
Ask your child for ideas of calming scenes—such as floating balloons or sitting by the beach—and use those to walk through guided meditations or visualizations.
Try Systematic Desensitization
Systematic desensitization helps reduce fear by gradually exposing the child to stress-inducing scenarios while teaching them how to calm their body. Have your child imagine their school day like a movie, pausing when they feel anxious, taking deep breaths, and resuming once calm. Practicing this repeatedly can desensitize fear responses.
Visiting the school before the first day is another effective school readiness tip for parents. If your child has a new building or teacher, a preview can reduce surprises and lessen anxiety.
Develop a Game Plan
If your child shares worries about school, help them develop a simple, actionable plan. For example:
- Talk privately with the teacher for extra help before or after school
- Know where the school counselor’s office is
- Write the counselor’s name and location in their planner
These concrete actions support independence and reduce uncertainty.
It’s normal to have mixed feelings about returning to school, for kids as well as for parents. Helping kids talk about their feelings openly and providing them with strategies to cope can go a long way toward a successful transition back to school.
By helping your child name their emotions, focus on what they can control, and learn calming techniques, you’re equipping them for more than just academic success—you’re giving them tools for life. Reduce academic stress in children by offering consistent encouragement and support at home.
